Baby Bargain (Winston Brothers Book 3) Page 4

  Forcing myself to unfold the paper, I begin to read.

  Remy,

  This letter to you is probably the hardest to write. I told your brothers’ in their letters, but I need to tell you the same. I’m sorry. So, unbelievably sorry. You lost your mother, and when she died, for all intents and purposes, you lost me too.

  I never planned to live this life without her. I never planned for you boys to lose her… you were so young when she passed, you had less years with her than Reed and Ryker did, and for that I’m sorry. I’ve said that so many times, and I’m sure by now the words don’t mean much to you three. It doesn’t make it any less true.

  Knowing I’m leaving this world with so many regrets is hard, almost impossible, but I don’t have a choice. All I can do is hope what I’m about to tell you will help in some small way.

  You and your brothers, along with your mom, were the best thing to ever happen to me. I took that for granted in so many ways, ways you never knew about, but when I found out she was pregnant with you I vowed to do better. I swore I would make up for all the ways I mistreated her and took her love for granted.

  This was something I hoped you boys would never know, but to explain what I have to tell you, it’s important you know. As much as I loved your mom, as much as she was the only person I wanted, our relationship was far from perfect. Especially when Reed and Ryker were young, months before you came along and completed our family.

  My stomach drops as I read his final words to me. I can already see where this is going, and even though I want to stop reading, to ball the letter up and throw it away, I can’t. He wanted me to know this, and even though I know what he’s about to confess will likely make me hate him a little, I have to get through it. I have to get to the end so I can understand why he’s telling us this horrible truth.

  I’ve been trying to find the words to tell you three this for months now, but it never comes out right. If I’m honest, I take the coward’s way out each time and change the subject. Now, my time is growing short and I can’t keep it a secret any longer.

  Your mother and I, we had problems. Reed and Ryker were small, and I neglected them. I neglected my family in favor of building this business, trying to take it in a new direction, to make it more profitable than it was when your grandfather was running it. Of course, your mom wouldn’t let that stand. She was fierce, and determined to make me do right by my family or get out. My arrogance wouldn’t let me admit my faults, and she finally had no choice but to show me the door.

  I was angry. So angry, so full of stupid, stubborn pride. In my head, I thought she was saying I was a failure, that I was fucking up both being a father and a husband, and I was determined to show her she needed me way more than I needed her.

  Instead of doing the right thing, of apologizing and begging her forgiveness, I let my anger and ultimately my feelings of inadequacy lead me into having an affair. It didn’t last long, less than a week in truth, but even an hour would have been a betrayal. I never told your mom. Thankfully, she never knew just how low I sunk during that period in our lives, and the guilt I felt over it all let me set aside my pride and beg her to forgive me. Obviously she did, and things between us got better. They were so good, better than they were before, and before I knew it, she was pregnant with you and glowing with happiness.

  I’ve always wondered if your mom getting sick was God’s version of karma on me. Maybe he took her away from me because I lied? I wasn’t faithful to the vows I gave her, and I never told her what happened. You boys didn’t deserve to lose your mom, and once she was gone, the guilt became more than I could live with. That’s why I started spending all my time at work again. I couldn’t look the three of you in the face for a long time.

  You’re probably wondering why I’m doing all this rambling, why I’m destroying the happy family you thought you had all this time.

  About a month ago, the woman I had the affair with made an appointment under a different name and came to see me. I recognized her immediately, and even more importantly, I recognized the extreme amount of guilt in her eyes because I’d been living with it for years.

  You see son, I wasn't the only one keeping secrets. She kept a pretty damn big one from me too. It turns out, that week we had together, well, it left her with a baby to raise. One she never told me about.

  Sure, she had excuses. She told me how she came to tell me, but couldn’t after seeing me with you boys and happy. Then, telling me the second time she got up the nerve, your mother was with me. She was too afraid.

  Karma got me again, because now I know I have a daughter, but I’m not going to be around to get to know her.

  I should. I know that. I should meet her and spend whatever time with her I can, but how do I enter her life when I know I’ll be leaving it so soon? It’s better for her if I stay away. I’m sure she hates me for abandoning her, even if I wasn’t aware that she existed.

  This, this is where you and your brothers come in, Remy. Marie Duchesne, that’s her name, she’s your sister. You deserve to know her, to have her in your life, and she deserves to have the family she never knew she had.

  I wish I was strong enough to tell you this while I’m still here, but I can’t stomach the thought of seeing you look at me with disgust in your eyes. You and your brothers’ are already so disappointed in me. I don’t want your last memories of me to be ruined. I hope you can forgive me someday.

  Love,

  Dad

  When I’m finished reading, I stare down at his messy signature, completely blindsided. I was pretty sure the cheating thing was coming, but the sister? That was totally unexpected. I have a sister. We have a sister. And… she’s older than me. Even having a sister I didn’t know about, I’m still the youngest.

  Clearing my throat, I look at both Reed and Ryker, trying to keep the tears I can feel filling my eyes from falling. “We have a sister?” My voice breaks when I say the word, and I swallow hard, trying in vain to force the lump in my throat down.

  Reed’s eyes are glassy too, and he has to clear his throat before he can answer. “We do.”

  All I can do is stare up at him. I don’t understand any of this. How could this happen? Yeah, I know how, but finding all this out now, I just can’t comprehend it.

  My oldest brother looks like he’s aged a decade when he sits on the edge of the coffee table in front of us, meeting first Ryker’s eyes, then mine. “This is something we need to handle. The girl--”

  “Marie.” I hate that he’s referring to her that way. It makes it seem like she’s less than a person, like he’s trying to keep the situation impersonal when it’s as personal as it can get. She’s our sister, whether we like it or not.

  He nods. “Marie, she’s just as much of a victim as we are in this. She didn’t ask to be born, and we can’t hold it against her.”

  He’s right, and when Ryker nods in agreement, I try to break the tension in the room by punching Ryker in the shoulder and forcing a chuckle. “Hey, you know what I just thought about?” They both turn to me, and I explain. “Maybe Dad is the reason you met Ava. If you hadn’t met her, we would have to search for Marie. Ava coming along when she did, being friends with her? That can’t just be a crazy coincidence.”

  My words have the opposite effect. Ryker jumps up, rubbing his hands on the sides of his pants as if he’s nervous. His eyes dart around the room, but he doesn’t look at us when he says, “I have to go.”

  Reed yells after him, but he’s moving so fast the door shuts before he finishes saying his name. His attention turns to me, and with a sigh, he tells me, “He just found out Ava’s pregnant.”

  Pregnant? My mouth falls open in shock, and all I can do is stare at him. Soon, both of my brother’s will have children, will have women who love them. They’ll be happy in their own little lives, and where will that leave me? When we were kids, everyone always thought the two of them were twins, and now I have an extra sibling to compete with.

  I’ve been the
third wheel my entire life, and now? Now I’ll be the fifth wheel...hell, I’ll be the seventh wheel if you count their kids. Once we add Marie to it, it will only get worse. I feel like I’ll always be the odd man out.

  I shouldn’t be jealous, I know that, but I am. I’m so fucking jealous, and the first thought I have about all of this that I want what they have. I want the wife, the kids, the fucking happy-go-lucky life.

  I want it all, just so maybe... maybe I can finally compete with them.

  Reed’s hand on my shoulder brings my attention back to right here and now, and when I meet his eyes, the sympathy in them is too much for me to bear. He has no idea what it’s like for me, and I’m not about to try and explain it to him either.

  Moving out from under his grip, I look away, my eyes focusing on anything in the room but my oldest brother. “I should probably go.”

  “You don’t have to,” Reed starts.

  I shake my head, knowing if I stay, I’ll end up spilling everything, and no one needs that. “No, seriously. It’s cool. I have some shit I need to take care of.” I start making my way to the door, and when I finally reach it, I’ve composed myself enough to meet his concerned eyes. I lift my gaze and say, “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

  As much as I know he wants to object, he doesn’t. His eyes watch me as I leave, and I swear I can still feel them on me when I get into my car.

  I have no idea where I’m going when I start my car, and hit the gas driving wherever life takes me, but I’m not even a mile from his house when I see the sign for a shitty looking bar. The sign outside is flickering, but it doesn’t keep me from seeing the name. Abe’s. Looks like as good a place as any to get shit-faced and forget all my problems for a little while. It seems to have worked for Ryker and Reed, hopefully it’ll work for me too.

  After a five minute search for a parking spot, I push open the door and walk inside. My feet make a disgusting sucking noise with each step, and I start to wonder if maybe there is such a thing as a too-shitty bar. There’s cigarette stains on the walls, and a horrible selection of music beats from speakers that most definitely have seen better days. I have half a mind to turn around and walk out of the place, but decide against it when I see her standing at the other end of the bar. My ass barely finds the seat on the old leather cracked bar stool as I stare at her. She’s got one hand on her hip, but she’s smiling down at the guy talking to her while he gestures wildly, spilling a pale beer on the bar top and floor as he does so. It hits me then exactly what I need tonight.

  An argument with Mel is just what I need to feel better. If last night is anything to go by, fighting with her leads to the best sex I’ve ever had, and that’s a much better way to get out all of this aggression I’m feeling. Hopefully it’s better than drinking till I pass out.

  Chapter Seven

  Mel

  This bar, and the people in it, is the last thing on my mind, but with the medical bills hanging over my entire family’s heads, I know I can’t afford to let my guard down. My dream was always to be a big time journalist, but focusing on that will have to wait until my sister is in remission or at least out of the hospital.

  When I walk inside, I spot one of my favorite regulars, Jack. He’s an old, somewhat bat-shit crazy man, with more wisdom and thoughts then I care to admit, but he’s sweet, and he always leaves good tips.

  Jack’s talking to Abe, the owner of Abe’s bar, and my one time one-night stand. When his dark eyes clash with mine I cringe. Since the night I made the mistake of having sex with him in the back room, he’s been all over me. Possessive, controlling, and more much like an ex-boyfriend than my boss.

  “Melody,” Jack rasps, smiling at me as I make my way behind the bar, Abe’s creepy stare making me feel dirty. I can feel him eyeing me up and down. It’s disturbing, and if I wasn’t so desperate for the money, I’d probably walk out right now, and never look back.

  I return his grin, making a point to ignore Abe as I saunter up to the bar, focusing on organizing the liquor instead. “Hey Jack. How are you tonight?”

  “Oh you know, just drinking rum and having a good ole’ conversation with Abe here.” He’s lost half his teeth in what he says were numerous bar fights, ones that weren’t his fault, but knowing him like I do now, I find that hard to believe.

  “Well, don’t stop on my account. I’m going to get inventory done before business picks up.” I cross my fingers hoping Abe won’t follow me as I walk to the back of the bar.

  I count the bottles of liquor and cases of beer, marking how many of each we need on my notepad. When I finish, I turn around to leave the room, jumping when I see Abe standing in the doorway. My notepad and pen fall, the noise overly loud when they hit the floor.

  “Jesus. Could you maybe say something next time instead of just standing there staring?” The words don’t have nearly the amount of venom they normally would, and the longer we stand her, the more uncomfortable I become. The way he’s staring at me gives me the creeps. After a few more silent moments, I bend, picking up my stuff quickly and hoping I can get past him before he tries something, but I’m not fast enough.

  Before I can slip past him, he’s in front of me, blocking my way and bringing our bodies a whole lot closer than I want them to be.

  “You’ve been avoiding me, Mel.” Even the way he says my name makes me shiver. “You don’t return my calls, or texts, unless it’s something work-related.” There’s an edge to his voice that I don’t like, and I straighten, trying to hide the fear that’s trickling down my spine.

  As hard as it is, I lift my eyes to meet his. “We aren’t dating Abe. We had sex. Once. We’ve never even been on a date, and we’re never going to be.” Somehow I manage to find my voice, the muted sounds from the bar barely noticeable, making it boom in the small space.

  He rubs the back of his neck, and I can see frustration start to form on his face. Abe might be a decent boyfriend, but I’m not in the market for one. Plus, his clinginess and possessive behavior only turns me off more.

  I don’t want to tell him it was a mistake, an act of loneliness on my part, but I may have to if he won’t take the hint.

  He sighs. “I offered you this job because I knew you needed it.”

  I can already tell where the conversation is going and I refuse to listen to it. “You offered me the job before we slept together, thank you very fucking much.” My anger explodes, and I lean forward, both hands on his chest, shoving him back. “If you want to win a woman over, or get one to give you a second chance, maybe try not guilt-tripping her into it. I don’t need your pity, and I don’t need this job if that’s how you’re going to act.” The last part is all bravado. I do need this job. I need it more than he’ll ever know.

  Abe pales, and shock forms on his rough features. I don’t think a woman has ever talked to him like I just did, but I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck if he’s upset, and at the moment, I’m having a hard time caring about whether he’s going to fire me. I’m fed up with his behavior, the passes he makes at me in and out of work.

  He moves his arm a second later and I don’t hesitate to move around him, practically sprinting back to the main room, leaving him to wallow in his thoughts.

  When I get back to the bar I pour Jack another drink, and we get into a long conversation about how he once tried to run for Mayor. His stories always have me busting at the seams with laughter and tonights is no different.

  As Jack’s story comes to an end, I hear the sound of the front door squeaking open to signal an incoming customer. When I turn to greet the new patron, my eyes widen. How did he find me here?

  Remy Winston is literally the last person I expect to see in this bar, and yet here he is, in all his perfection. He settles onto the worn bar stool with a shit-eating grin pulling at his lips. God, please help me, I whisper to myself, walking over to serve him.

  “Are you stalking me now?” I wince, lowering my voice when I see Abe standing at the edge of the hallway, his eyes nar
rowed on us.

  Great. Just what I need, more boy problems.

  The noise he makes is almost a snort. “Not at all, though I can’t complain about seeing you again, since you basically told me I’d never get a second chance.”

  I roll my eyes, shaking my head at his smartass remarks. “To get a second chance, you would’ve had to have a first. He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off. “What can I get you?”

  Unreadable emotions swirl in his honey-colored eyes, but they disappear before I can decipher them.

  “I’ll take a glass of whiskey, straight.”

  I blink, not understanding the rough undertone in his voice. “Rough day?” I ask, grabbing a bottle of our best whiskey, which honestly isn’t that great, and a glass. I set them both in front of him. His eyes lift to meet mine, and I immediately both love and hate the way he looks at me. Like I’m the reason his world is still spinning, or some idiotic shit like that.

  “You haven’t the first clue. Ever have a dad you thought the world of only to find out he was liar and cheat?”

  I nod, sadly. “Oh yes. Sounds like my father. You sure they aren’t the same person?” The thought makes me screw up my face in disgust. Good job, Mel. Ask the guy you slept with last night if you have the same father. Talk about gross.

  Remy just smiles, pouring the brown liquid into his glass before gulping down more than half. He wipes a few drops of the liquid from his lips with the back of his hand, and I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from envisioning what it would be like to steal a taste from his lips.

  My heart pounds in my chest, and once again my thoughts turn sexual. Memories of last night play in my mind, reminding me of the way he made me feel: loved, cherished, protected. All things I’ve never felt with a man before.